Honest Conversations., Values.

Honest Conversations.


This post is the second in a series about the five core values that
form the foundation of everything I do at Pure & Simple.
To read the first post, click here.

When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time trying to find resources for women who were in relationships with men who were addicted to porn. I wanted to know how to stay in a relationship in the midst of such personal pain. I wanted to find out how couples made it through the mess. What I found instead, though, were countless comments from women asking how long they had to wait before they could leave.

I was discouraged by my inability to find helpful resources. More than that, though, I was disappointed that Church leaders were ignoring the tough topics and I didn’t understand why.

Ever since then, I have deeply longed for Christians to have more honest conversations about all aspects of life.

I have longed for our discussions about sex to include more than pre-chewed gum and torn up 20 dollar bill analogies. I have longed for young girls to hear about their purpose more often than about being fearfully and wonderfully made. I have longed for people to approach mental illness as more than a bad mood we can pray our way out of.

Basically, I have longed for the Church to initiate conversations about every facet of life, not just the surface-level topics we’re comfortable with.

It been a handful of years now and nothing has changed. One of the main reasons I started blogging at all was so I could put this deep longing of mine into practice and have honest conversations, even if it meant risking my own reputation along the way.

Including honest conversations as one of my five core values means I want my blog to be a place where we talk honestly about topics that matter to us. It means I want to create space for people to enter into conversations without fear of awkwardness or judgment.

These conversations aren’t always easy – I get that. There are certain situations and environments in which some of these conversations are most fruitful – I get that, too. But I am beyond tired of letting the fear of saying the wrong thing (or the right thing at the wrong time) keep us from having important conversations.

Our silence does not help those who are hurting. It does not help heal the scars of loneliness worn by many.

Our silence keeps people in the dark. It tells them they deserve to feel alone.

Our silence prevents so many people from experiencing freedom.

And isn’t that what Christ came to give? Freedom?

I don’t believe freedom was given to us just so we could live in the dark, fearful of what other people would think if we were honest. I don’t believe freedom was given to us so we could more easily ignore brokenness in the world.

I believe people we were given freedom so we could turn on the lights and cover topics that used to scare us with truth. I believe we will gain a deeper understanding of how to restore the world when we actually acknowledge what needs to be restored. I believe people will experience the incredible, redeeming power of Christ when Christians step out and speak honestly about the brokenness we have so often pretended not to see.

Personally, I refuse to be a person who leaves brokenness in the dark. I refuse to care about my comfort and reputation more than the freedom of my fellow human beings. I refuse to play a part in keeping people from the redeeming power of Christ.

So we’re going to be honest around here. We’re going to talk about the hard stuff. We’re going to put the freedom of others over the comfort of ourselves. And in the end, my hope is that we will find ourselves experiencing a whole new kind of freedom through our willingness to have honest conversations.