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Lighten Burdens.

teach-me-to-rest

This semester, I have been a full time student, a supervisor at work, an RA, the student liaison for the Presidential Ambassadors, a soccer player, a volunteer, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a writer, and a human being. Oh, and I have also been really, really tired.Yesterday, a friend of mine said that she doesn’t know how I do what I do.I told her that I’m not sure how I do it, either.Overall, I think it involves a lot of faking it. My plant biology class this semester? Faking it. The research paper I just wrote? Faking it. This cool, calm, and collected exterior? Faking it. You all already know I don’t have my life together any more than you do, so it’s pretty clear I don’t fake it for the sake of those around me. No, I’m faking it for myself. I tell myself it’s fine, I’ll make it through. I tell myself “This paper TOTALLY makes sense! It’s fine, just turn it in.” In reality, I’m not necessarily sure how I’m doing, but I know I’m not failing, so that…

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Lighten Burdens.

This is My Well.

Last week, WordPress congratulated me on my 4th anniversary of having a blog. I’ve gotten these anniversary notifications every year and have never really thought much about them. Until this year, when the notification came with impeccable timing.Just a couple of days earlier, I had listened to a podcast in which a well-known blogger was asked about her road to success. Turns out, her road was short and sweet. She started blogging, people loved it right away, and 6 months later she had already gained over 100,000 followers. (She now has over 1 million.)”So thanks, WordPress,” I thought, “but I’d rather not be reminded about my inability to gain the same amount of followers in 4 years as other people have in 6 months.”You may not be a writer, but I bet there is some area in life that you wish would hurry up and produce some results already. We all have things like that – long and hard roads that we grow tired of walking.Keeping a house in order, finding a job that combines your skills with what you’re passionate about, dating, getting in shape, completing school, saving money, paying off…

Lighten Burdens.

Be Seen.

On March 24th, I spoke to a group of girls in Germany about how their YWAM Discipleship Training School leaders (my sister, Jenn, being one of them) want them to grow together as a community in their 6 months together, but how shame gets in the way of that. This post is an abridged version of what I shared.When I was in high school, I constantly feared not being good enough. I worried that people only pretended to like me because they felt sorry for me. I spent my nights running through the day in my mind and scolding myself for the stupid things I did and said.My day-to-day life was filled with shame – the fear that something about me made me unworthy of connection. So I hid from the world around me in hopes that no one would get close enough to see that I wasn’t worth their time. The first thing we do when we feel shame is hide. This has always been the case. Look at the following couple of verses from Genesis with me, and you’ll see what I mean.Genesis 2:25 is pre-shame and says, “Both the…

Lighten Burdens.

Opinions that Matter.

This morning, I decided to make french toast for breakfast. All you have to do is mix together an egg, milk, vanilla extract, and cinnamon; cover both sides of a piece of bread with the mixture, cook it, and BAM. French toast for breakfast. Easy enough, right?WRONG.I currently have soggy bread sitting in my trashcan. It’s a little burnt on the outside and completely undercooked on the inside. I don’t even know how that happens. (One thing I do know is that I’m hungry.)The good thing about this failure of mine is that no one was here to witness it. Jacob has been at work for almost two hours, and I have the house to myself. I can fail in peace.I am wondering, though, why I worry so much about failing in public. Why I don’t try new things in public unless I am 150% sure I will succeed.Four times a week, I have Greek class. On two of the days, the teacher’s assistant, Paul, is in charge. He often asks people to volunteer to write things on the whiteboard, and reminds us, “You can’t learn and look cool…

Lighten Burdens.

Around the Table.

While I was working on a post earlier this month about how my heart longs for community, I wrote this: “If the walls of my house could talk, they wouldn’t have much to say. They wouldn’t have many stories to tell.” I took it out because I didn’t want to sound pitiful, but it was so true. My heart was aching because the walls of my house weren’t collecting any stories. As I was processing these things, I was also reading through a section of Jen Hatmaker’s book, For the Love, in which she talked at length about the group of couples she and her husband spend ample time with. About the group, she said:”We cheer on each other’s published books, CD releases, new babies, completed adoptions, new podcasts, new jobs, sabbaticals. We give each other permission to dream. We give each other permission to rest. We give each other permission to grieve. We have the funniest group texts on planet earth, and should they ever become public, we will all move to Peru.”That is what my heart was longing for. That is the kind of community I want. People who celebrate…

Lighten Burdens.

4 Months of Marriage, 1 Lesson for Life.

Newlyweds who double as bloggers love to tell you what they’ve learned since they got married. The adjustments, the which-way-do-YOU-think-the-toilet-paper-goes discussions, the joys, the disappointments, the things they do to “continue dating” their spouse…the list is endless. As I have been married for 4 months now, it seems only natural to follow the trend. However, I’ve found that the biggest thing I’ve learned during these past four months relates to more areas of life than just marriage.In a nutshell, I’ve learned that there will always be one dish left in the sink.You see, no matter how often I do the dishes, or what time I finish, I’ve learned that one dish will always find its way to the sink not long after I have finished drying what I thought was going to be the last one. It seems as though every time I finish, my husband or I will inevitably want anything that requires dirtying a dish.Since making the conclusion that there will always be one more, I’ve found myself saying “There’s always one more dish in the sink” in regard…